School and other things

Every year I cannot wait for summer to come and school to be over. We then have lots of fun, get way off schedule, and have no routine whatsoever, so then come the middle of August I cannot wait for school to start and get our lives organized once again. It started last Wednesday and the girls love their teachers and like going. Amanda, wasn't as excited this year as she has been in the past, but she had a rough end of the year (thanks to a teacher who seems to only teach for the money and was tired of it). She really is enjoying her new teacher though. They seem to have lots in common. Paige has a young teacher who is very nice and so far Paige just loves 1st grade. Every time I ask how her day at school was she is sooo excited to tell me all the fun she had. We are getting back on schedule and developing our routine again. Pat starts his classes on Wed, and I don't know yet how I feel about it. To tell you the truth I am worried. He seems to want me right there when he does his homework and needs help enough that I am having anxiety about him taking 15 credits. We will have to see how it goes. It feels overwhelming to me to have the kids homework, Pats homework, Marin's pre-school that I can't get her to go to because of her separation anxiety, the business to run-which I work at every Thursday and sometimes more, soccer for the girls, piano lessons, Pats flag football league, dinner with the family, and everything else that shows up to surprise us in life. I know you all are busy too, but I am not good at handling all the stress that comes with busy life.

I woke up this morning with a sick feeling about somethings that I need to work on in my life. For example, I feel I don't show my older children that I love them enough. When they are younger, they come climb on my lap and ask to be read to, or come snuggle me in bed at night. Its just easier to pick them up and kiss them all over, or love them up after a bath. Now they are more independent and don't come searching for love that much, and I can only imagine it will be less an less as they get even older. I have decided to really put an effort into more hugs and kisses, and more meaningful time together one on one. Another thing I have been thinking about is how can I do more service, and I had this answered at church a few weeks ago. It was actually the answer to another issue I have had- How to keep my dirty house clean and how to be motivated to do it(I hate cleaning!!). A woman was talking on families and she quoted one of the 12 saying something along the lines that the best service to the Lord that a mother can do is providing a clean home for her children to grow up in and meals for the family to eat together. I never have thought of cleaning my home as doing service, but now that I heard that, it makes it so much easier to do. I almost feel as if I am killing 2 birds with one stone. I have done much better since then, although I have lots of work ahead of me because we have switched girls rooms around. I am in the middle of rearranging closets and dressers and at the same time rotating clothes and putting away all the tiny baby things for the toddler things. It seems I can never get enough time to really get stuff done on it either, but I am going to really try to finish by Wed when Pat starts his school. I also feel that I have let my spirituality suffer a little and I am now listening to The Book of Mormon on my Ipod when I clean. I love doing it this way because I find it hard to have time to read, but I feel I am always cleaning. It makes the time go by fast and I listen to about 6 chapters at a time and the stories really come together when you do large amounts at a time everyday. I get interrupted lots but its ok cuz I can pause it and rewind if needed. Some of the parts I really like I will go back and read again later.

Well I hope whoever reads this isn't to bored, it feels good to get this out of my head.