Changes coming in our family

Just when I think I am safe, Bam!! it hits me. I am pregnant. I know, I know there are ways to prevent, but Pat and I had been thinking it was the right thing to do so in July I had a Dr visit and he so kindly told me that removing my IUD would lead to pregnancy. It was funny at the time cuz I was sure that was what I wanted. Well by the beginning of Nov. I had changed my mind and was planning the new visit witht the Dr. to get a new IUD. To make a long story short, we had an us only trip to Vegas at the beginning fo December and now Bam!! Sickness, tiredness, and reflux have taken over my whole world. My poor kids and husband have been so patient with me and my horribley messy house. I was happy until the sickness hit and then I was mad at myself for letting this happen again. Now I am somewhere in between. I know I will love having this baby when it comes, but it is so far away and I am so miserable during pregnancy. I am trying to have a better attitude about it, but sometimes when I am sick and struggling to breathe, I cave and cry. For those who don't know, I have vocal cord dysfunction. For years the Dr's were treating me for asthma and nothing worked, but after a million different Dr's we have figured it out, I think. My vocal cords close causing me to wheez and struggle to get air in. I sound like Darth vador most of the time and espescially if I do anything even a little active like walk up the stairs. You would think I just sprinted a mile. Well, pregnancy makes my VCD worse by a lot. My voice is gone alot of the time, and its just harder to breathe. I feel like I am suffocating some days. But don't worry, I seem to be getting enough oxygen, I just struggle getting it. I am learning new breathing tecniques, to help but it seems like something I will always have and not be able to get rid of. :(

Anyways, I am greatful for the oppurtunity to have another baby, and if all goes well it will be a boy. :) We are not going to find out, at lease that is what we say right now. It will make the delivery more fun for all of us I think if we find out the gender when it is born. Oh by the way, I am 12 weeks along.